Twitter has given an increasing number of expectant dads something to do while their wives are giving birth: Provide the world a real-time account of what may be the most intimate experience of their lives.
Tally Wilgis couldn’t wait to tell family and friends details about the birth of his second child, Ainsley, in January at St. Joseph Medical Center in Towson, Maryland. As his wife, Kristy, endured her contractions, her pastor husband kept his 800 Twitter followers up to date.
“Doc came back from the emergency across the hall. He seems eager to get to work,” Wilgis tweeted a few moments before Ainsley was born. “He’s going to get the team. We’ll see.”
“Baby Ainsley is here!!!!! 5:17 p.m. 7.8 lbs. She’s beautiful! Kristy did an amazing job. I am so in love with that woman. 3 pushes and she was out! I’m going to hold my daughter now!”
Twitter, the free San Francisco-based site, allows users to post entries (or Tweet) what they’re doing in 140 characters or less. Expectant parents are using its versatility to keep loved ones informed.
Some expectant parents like Wilgis bring laptop computers into the delivery room and post updates for those who follow their entries. As his daughter was being born, he captured emotions — including his own — that might have gone unrecorded had he waited to talk about them over the phone.
Matt Tatham, media relations director for online measurement company Hitwise, said it’s not surprising that sites such as Twitter have become popular in delivery rooms. He said that such sites are compatible with devices such as BlackBerrys and iPhones.
“It happens because it’s there and it’s possible,” Tatham said. “The biggest hurdle is always ease of use. People can do it from their cell phone. It’s a way for their family and friends to be there with them whether they want to be or not.”
Wilgis said tweeting during the delivery beats blogging, which he did with his first child, Caleb, four years ago.
Matt McDermott — who tweeted in September when his wife, Wendy, gave birth to their son Ferris — said he had a couple of reasons for doing so.
“It was to keep friends updated, yes, but also it was an experiment for me. I’m in advertising, and I was interested to see how followers responded and which tweets were most popular.”
For some fathers, tweeting during the delivery is a way to keep busy. It also gives them someone to talk to while the physicians tend to mother and child.
“As a new father, you feel lonely in the delivery room because all of the attention is on your wife and the child,” Wilgis said. “It gave me something to do while I was sitting there, and a lot of the tweets express the boredom and frustration of just sitting there waiting. To an extent, it’s like talking out loud and wondering if anybody hears you.”
Michael Schwartzberg, media relations manager for Greater Baltimore Medical Center, said he’s recently heard of about a half-dozen expectant parents tweeting during deliveries at the hospital.
“It started perhaps when Lance Armstrong did it in June; that made it popular, I guess,” said Schwartzberg. (The cycling star announced the birth of his fourth child, Max, on Twitter.)
Schwartzberg said that when another couple mentioned they would tweet during their delivery in August, he cleared it with doctors.
“They said, ‘As long as Dad is in a corner out of the way,’ ” Schwartzberg said. “Most times, the birthing companion is in the room anyway and it’s not as if they’re wheeling in heavy equipment. Most people use BlackBerrys or PDAs, and it’s commonplace to take pictures after the baby’s born with either a cell phone camera or a regular camera. It’s not as if they’re causing problems for anyone.”
But not everyone is sold on the idea of fathers tweeting during a most delicate period in a couple’s life.
“I think it’s terrible,” said Renana Brooks, a Washington-based psychologist. “The world is divided, and one of the few rituals we have in terms of giving each other undivided attention is that time in a delivery room. To be spending time writing to someone else destroys the whole ritual. That’s like Twittering on your wedding night. You can blog about it afterward.”
Kristy Wilgis disagrees. She said that she welcomed her husband tweeting during the delivery in part because the family had just moved from Virginia Beach, Virginia, and it was one of the best ways to keep everyone informed.
“Frankly, there was nothing he could do for me then,” she added. “I didn’t want to be touched or massaged; I know some expectant mothers like that, but I was just the opposite. It was the best outlet for him, to talk about it via computer. It was really cool, and I got a chance to see it from his perspective. Things were really fuzzy the whole day, and it refreshed my memory of things I had forgotten about.”
Sometimes expectant fathers discover that continuous tweeting is impossible.
McDermott began tweeting early in a delivery process that began at 8:30 a.m. and ended when Ferris was born at 6 p.m., but he had to stop when he was called upon to assist his wife’s pushing for lengthy periods.
He did manage to tweet when the doctor gave the couple a half-hour break between pushes. After the birth, he returned to Twitter; his final tweet was accompanied by a photo of his wife holding the baby. He says he looks back on those photos at least once a week.
Cheryl Knauer of Parkville, Maryland, has asked her husband, Jason, to tweet during the delivery of their third child next month and has given him free rein to post whatever comes to mind.
“I think I’ll be busy,” she says with a laugh. “For us, we talk through Twitter and Facebook with most of our family and friends on a regular basis, so it seems like a natural thing to be communicating with them during the delivery and telling them how things are going.”
Wilgis has copied his tweets and will save them with the hopes of one day passing them to his daughter. Then she’ll know about the most memorable moments of the day.
“I think it’s amazing to be able to look back on that moment in life,” said Wilgis, “and my daughter is going to be able to know exactly what her dad was thinking every few minutes, over the course of two days, when she was being born.”
The Baltimore Sun
Indonesians Who Love to Microblog
Lisa Siregar
Twitter users in Indonesia seem to be less comfortable tweeting about private moments, but several have found uses for their accounts other than mundane updates of what they had for breakfast.
Patrick Gerard Van Diest, a journalist and self-confessed geek, proposed to his girlfriend of eight years, Maria Dewi Purwitasari, or Wita, on Twitter.
“After spending time together, I would like to spend the rest of my [pretty weird] life with you. Will you marry me?” Patrick tweeted on April 3 at 9 p.m.
It took Wita three hours to answer because of signal problems, causing anxious waiting among their Twitter friends, who were encouraging her to accept.
“I have been planning this since I became active on Twitter. I wanted to do something unique instead of just proposing on bended knee,” said Patrick, who views Twitter as a way to share thoughts and meet unique people.
Kamelia Mohamad, a 28-year-old communications worker who is getting married this weekend, has been sending Twitter updates since her engagement party in June. In addition to her personal Twitter account, Kamelia opened another just especially so she could send updates about her wedding preparations, from the search for her wedding dress, to sampling food at the caterers.
“I’m going to live tweet my wedding this Saturday and Sunday too,” Kamelia said.
She said she decided to send Twitter updates about her wedding, not to seek attention, but because she likes to share.
Ing Landjanun, the owner of stores in Bandung and Jakarta, has been on Twitter since 2007 and his wife, Almaviva, joined the following year. They use Twitter to keep in touch because they live in different cities.
“I did a live-tweet before and after my wedding just like I tweet everyday,” Ing said. He posts 20-30 tweets every day, both from his MacBook and his Nokia E51.
“It’s funny because I didn’t know people would be so excited about us sending Twitter updates about our wedding,” Ing said.
The word about his wedding spread fast among local Twitter users. A lot of new people signed up the night before to follow their wedding posts.
Ing’s only regret is that he and Almaviva didn’t save their tweets.
“We didn’t have the chance to save it and Twitter deleted the archives a while ago,” he said.
So how do these Twitter users feel about tweeting from the delivery room if their unions are fruitful?
Patrick said, “It’s inappropriate. A husband should focus on his wife during the delivery. I’m a hardcore Twitter user, but if I was in that situation, I would tweet after the birth, not during.”
Kamelia was in favor of the idea: “I’m cool with it and have no problem with it. People are just sharing their happy moments.”
Ing was also enthusiastic and thought that tweeting a birth is a good idea. “I’ll do that in the future.”
A Blow-by-Blow Account of Baby’s Birth
Tally Wilgis, the pastor of Captivate Church in Baltimore, Maryland, tweeted while his wife Kristy gave birth to their second child, Ainsley. Here are some of Wilgis’s tweets from the labor and delivery.
“Remember when we were late to deliver (Caleb) because I had to break and shovel 2 inches of ice from my driveway that (sits) on a hill?”
“Check in is like the TSA at the airport and a CIA background check all in one.”
“ ‘Hope for the best,’ isn’t what I like hearing when they’re doing IVs.”
“Kristy thinks she has it bad but this is torture for a guy with ADD. It’s like the final question on Jeopardy with no end to the music.”
“So I have my mocha, berry muffin and wi-fi. I feel like I’m at my local coffee shop except people keep talking contractions and IVs.”
“Doc just gave Kristy pain meds. Kristy gave me a signal of ‘I’m loopy.’ Doc said, ‘Don’t fight it, just sleep.’ She’s out. That was fast.”
“YAWN ... having a baby is BORING right now ... last time was drive-thru compared to this.”
“We’re up to some more regular and stronger contractions. My guess is we’re about 3 hours away from the doc using the catcher’s mitt.”
“Doc just wants to place a monitor on the baby and get rid of the belt monitor to keep good readings. Says we’re pretty close.”
“Things settled down. Baby was stressing during contractions. They adjusted K and put new monitor on. Everyone gone now. Again we wait.”
“Yeah ... we’re getting closer. K’s in pain. I’m useless. It’s not boring anymore but it’s not fun either. C’mon baby Ainsley. Daddy’s here.”
“No baby yet. Thanks for prayers. They are appreciated. By the way, K doesn’t like to be touched or coached so my best use is updating.”
“Doc came back from the emergency across the hall. He seems eager to get to work. He’s going to get the team. We’ll see.”
“Nurse turned on oxygen next to baby warmer. Game faces on. Somewhere I think they’re playing the Star-Spangled Banner.”
“Doctor ‘We’re going to have a baby in like 3 minutes!’ Okay folks, I’m going to see my baby born!”
Baltimore Sun
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